Archive for June, 2014

June 11, 2014

Work Pressure – Work Relief: Setting Boundaries and Limits On The Job Without Firing Your Boss


“I got to have this done by Five!!” said Mike, the new law associate who

reminded Karen, the faithful secretary, of a weasel with an addiction to

espresso. Almost knocking her over with his insistence that she draft another

document before she left, he was once again late with a report. On one hand

she felt sorry for him and on the other hand she resented his last minute

rush jobs that put everything else on hold. Boundaries and the statement;

“Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!” did

not exist in Karen’s tool box of skills.


Work (or life) without limits is a path to burnout, low motivation, loss of

productivity, low morale and frustration.

Work with limits and boundaries can restore our joy, interest, satisfaction

and creativity as well as help us grow in our intellect, emotions and


God works and intended for us to work even before sin entered in. Yes, work

will be tough sometimes but that does not mean it has to be slavery or

drudgery. If we take our work to heart, “do it as unto Christ” and own which

is ours at work and separate from what is not, we will find that joy

ultimately increases as we get transformed and not enslaved. Here are some tips:


When Others Dump Work On Us And We Accept It:

Define your job responsibilities and stick to them. If responsibilities

increase ask for more pay, comp time, privilege, freedom, an assistant and or

less responsibilities in old areas. You may also look at the option of saying

“No” to the increase for any price. Gently tell the dumper, that you, the

dumpee, do not accept his or her responsibility and that you will allow the

project, meeting, errand, etc., to go south if he or she tries to put it on

you. Ultimately, the powers that be will track the problem to them. Make sure you document what you are doing and why.


Too Much Of A Work Thing:

Overtime is fine as long as you really want to do it, you’re getting comp

time or pay for it, or you are not neglecting other responsibilities.

Newsflash!: Bosses need boundaries too. Don’t let them push you into doing

things that will burn you out, cause resentment or may even hurt you. You are not a slave and treating people like slaves is not only unethical, illegal

and dumb, it is also against God’s principles and values. Talk to your boss

about what you see as too much work and about your job description.


Saying “No” To Yourself:

Much of limits at the job is saying “No” to yourself around giving in to what

you could do. “Could do” is dangerous. We will tend to wonder about without

direction with “Could do”. Putting our heart into doing excellent work and

doing the most important things will reap many rewards. It may take telling

your supervision or group that you can work on Project X (the most important project) today and but will

not get to Project Z (the next most important project) until next week.


Conflicts With The Big Kahunas:

Kahunas were mystical political and spiritual leaders in Hawaiian culture.

People feared them and did what they said. In our culture bosses are

sometimes feared in the same way. But like the Kahunas and The Wizard of Oz

they too are only human. Many times we fear our bosses because of fear

learned with authority as a child. Taking responsibility for this fear or

other emotions and undoing the vows we made when young will help us set

limits with our bosses when we need to without being disrespectful or


Family Isn’t Work So Therefore Work Isn’t Family:

Expecting work to be a place where we get all of our old family and deepest

friendship needs met is a set up for disaster. Here we are putting ourselves

in a child or one-down relationship expecting deep nurturing, approval,

acceptance, and self-esteem. Ideally, of course, work pays us, challenges us,

supports us, is safe and helps us learn: This happens at the adult-to-adult

level. It is best to take the child needs to friends, small groups, recovery

meetings, and the like.


Being Called Not Driven:

One important boundary that few of us see sometimes with work is defining who

we are (and who we are not) , in part, by looking at our talents, gifts,

interests and hobbies. We will have fewer boundary problems at work when we

put aside other’s expectations of our career goals and get honest about what

we think, feel, like, dream, hate, experience, want or have. A single mom in

Oakland decided that she did not FEEL good about being a secretary and

dreamed of being a marine biologist. Slowly, with small attainable goals, she

worked towards marine biology by taking classes, being an aquarium docent,

reading, taking her kids on beach field trips, volunteering and finally

landing a job at a research aquarium.


Work Pressure, Work Relief is available in an expanded format as an in-house

workshop or seminar through  The New Life Group, Pleasant Hill. Feel free to

call (925) 798 4551 for more details.




Boundaries For Leaders – Henry Cloud


Nine Things A Leaders Must Do – Henry Cloud—ebook/dp/B003TO5O3W/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402470275&sr=1-1&keywords=nine+things+a+leader+must+do


Integrity: The Courgage To Meet the Demands of Reality – Henry Cloud


Everyone Commuicates, Few Connect – John Maxwell