Working Through Grief

1) Talking about it. It is important to talk about your loss as much as possible to as many people you can trust. Grief is sometimes best dealt with the same way you treat a chest cold: “cough it up”. That is to say talking about it is the “expectorant” that brings it out and help start the healing process. Finding others that have the skill for listening is also very important.

2) Memorialize. Finding or making memorabilia that brings the loss to mind is also very important. Cards, letters, objects, ticket stubs, toys, or anything that represents the person or thing that was lost can be collected and put in a box, place, photo album etc. and brought out to look at and share with others.

3) Journaling/Letters. Writing a journal about your feelings or perceptions of the loss is good to do as well as writing a letter to the one lost as if they’d moved to a far away land telling them of your joys, hopes, hurts, dreams, losses and so on.

4) Gift. Getting a gift for the griever (even if that’s you ).  This stems from the old Japanese tradition of getting a small gift for the person grieving to mark the occasion and provide a reminder of the loss. While this can bring up pain, after awhile the bitterness will turn bitter‑sweet and then mostly sweet if you continue to work towards reconciling the loss.  The gift should be small such that the person can pull it out and let it remind them of the loss as they work through the process.



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