Posts tagged ‘Understanding’

February 1, 2018

Five Common Errors That People Make In Romantic Relationships

Error One: We go into a caretaking role. We equate love with caretaking and pleasing the other. We bend over backwards to help and care for the other. We don’t understand and feel resentful and hurt if I love ones don’t appreciate our efforts. Or they may tell us that were treating them like children or that they are incompetent. Caring is great but we need to learn how to not let ourselves caretake in unhealthy ways or lose ourselves in the process.

Error Two: We expect our love ones to think like we do, respond, speak and act like we would in most situations. We might expect them to make us happy and complete. There is no way another human being can make you happy. They can contribute to your happiness but happiness is a process that you essentially create yourself.

Error Three: We try to change or fix our loved ones. When we try to make others what we wanted to be then in effect telling them that they are wrong. Unless their behavior is disrespectful or hurtful in some way, it is best to accept others as they are.

Error Four: We criticize them and make them wrong. I cannot emphasize this point enough: it is the most destructive mistake of all. People are different. They think and respond as well as act differently. It is important to be accepting, understanding and appreciate our differences or we will destroy relationships.

Error Five: We do not set appropriate limits and keep healthy boundaries with our loved one. We allowed them to mistreat us. We don’t express our needs and desires in appropriate ways. We allow things to build up until we either explode or withdraw.

Making these errors? Call us if you want help in correcting them

Further Reading:
Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud  and‎ John Townsend

Avoiding Mr. Wrong by Steve Arterburn

Boundaries and Dating  Henry Cloud  and‎ John Townsend


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